Tuesday
And I just wanna touch Him, but I touch you....
He was in a relationship synonymous with the course of the sun. It arose in the midst of his darkest times in life. As a sinner, he was without God, without love and without understanding. As the sun rose, birds began to sing, the scenery began to change. He met her at a Christian summer camp. She was instrumental in his heart change. He dedicated his life to Christ and they began their happy place. Flowers bloomed. High noon marked the peak of their relationship. Though the summer ended, they did their best to keep their love strong as they parted ways- he went back to Ohio. She went back to California. It's mid afternoon now in the scheme of things, and these love birds are seemingly inseparable. But, every day must turn to evening, must turn to night. As the relationship went on, and as the sun began to set, they were no longer blinded by the infatuation stage. Now, infidelity crept in along with the frustrations it brings. Soon enough, the night fell and he was left with the stress and struggle of dealing with his and her emotions. They both needed Jesus, more of Him. The Son that never sets. Taelor expresses in this melancholy dissertation the reality of it all. He is speaking to her. Telling her that what they experienced was but a temporary gift. They put stock into that gift, but not into the giver. Now, he is left wanting the Giver. While she was left wanting His attributes.
The Beginning was a nightmare; I dream for the end.
Gray's Conclusion I Interlude:
Angie, I love you.
Aunt Vickie, I love you, Pilar, N'Dia, Beanie, Keren, Aaron Ab...
Yall on my heart....
(then I give shouts out to all my fam and closest friends, including my cat-literal cat- Nino and my dog-literal dog- Jonah)
The verse goes like this:
Ayo, the end is better than the beginning/
The finish line full of relief,
For some it can be full of defeat, if they ain't win it/
Join me in my race, set ready go, chase/ The prize got my eyes aligned wit my face/
So go get it, puma dassler's laced/ Graced with a mind to pace til' gravity waits...
Now, I can skip the ground breaking/ I don't have to relate much as I have to relay,
Cause' this a relay y'all...
And Im a stallion, not a cheapskate/ YO, My talent not a keepsake/
I gotta pass the baton in this relay/
Yo, remember the latter is better than the former/
I told that to my father when my auntie was a goner/
He had gone through it for years/ a conduit for tears/ that she cried... and he sighed/
Man, I said it before, I'll say it again/ The beginning was a nightmare, I dream for the end/
I struggled with lust to the highest degree/ And my emotions had me higher than speed/
Needing to slow down/ created a ghost town/ with women as visitors, a/ prisoner I became/
To sinister mind games/ that I played/ Played a part of the start of my ministry/
And it's a part of me that.... fuels my artistry, but.... pulls my energy/ I can see my enemy/
Whatever, so what/ This just a movie, I gotta wait till' the credits go up/
Liz's father went to sleep, but he never woke up...
Now the opening scene be the day you found me/
And Imma keep my eyes fixed on that grand finale/
Chillin in Your thoughts as I follow Your character/
Lovin' Your law of Love and all the parameters/
No stallin' for the camera/ You're the only Star/ The Almighty Alpha, Conclusion of it all.
PEACE.
Ecclesiastes 7:8 I Jeremiah 29:11
And there it is. When I made the beat almost 6 years ago, I had no clue what it would become. It was a musical monologue. It was a journal entry of pure melody, no specific words. Memories were unlocked in that track and it was calling for more memories. So, I titled the beat, "Gray's Conclusion". It was simply my way of saying, I don't know how this will end. But it will end. 2010 had it's share of endings. Rest In Peace, Brother Terry Thomas, Aunt Bridgette, Leola Wilson, Elizabeth White, Mavrille's father. Some people ended their quest for the Lord and found Him; others ended their quest for the Lord and left Him. I'm so tired of my struggles. I hate my sin. But, the end will come. Soon enough.
I'm not even from New York, but waddup Son!
Canaan: thanks for your help with this, guy. We had to go through a lot to write this song.
The rest is His Story.
Thanks Nino:
You also provides the "purrrrfect" inspiration when the studio get's overwhelming.
And thank YOU for reading this and watching this process. I hope this is blessing you like it is me. Watch until the end for a snippet of the actual song in it's development.
I can't sell You that " I love You". You won't buy it.
Christon Gray I Attributes I Even With Evil With Me. feat. Canaan Miller
Some songs just hit you. This is one of them. Thanks for the help, Canaan.
If for no one else, we wrote this for each other.
Here it goes, verse 1:
I can't tell you that I love you ( love you)
I can't sell you that "I love you" (love you)
Cause' you can see through my matrix (matrix)
And you can read my body language (language)
And I know that it's impossible to justify myself,
But I'm so addicted, all this evil just to find myself.
I don't mean to be ungrateful
But you know I gotta plateful
If Im not eatin' of Your Word then,
Who am I to be a servant?
And I wont admit it, pride won't let me own the lies I bought
But the truth is all this time I've never known You like I thought.
Pre chorus
So can we go back to the start,
When You came into my heart?
I would be remiss if I continue
To go another day not knowing You.
Chorus
So, I'm running after You
And this time, I'm not looking for Your Attributes
I'm running after You, and I'm not just looking for attributes.
I'm running after You, and I'm not just looking for attributes.
I'm running after You...
Verse 2:
Now, everybody has a story
But, they don't always get to tell it
Precious moments feel like heaven...
But, it's like you never felt it.
So, what do we make of this temporary state of bliss?
If I can't have it all the time, then why even exist?
So, what if I could introduce you
To a Man that knows your mayhem?
It's not the attributes that make Him,
No, He's the One that made them.
That love, that joy, that peace that you could never give yourself
It's yours to have, but in return you have to give yourself.
Pre
So let me take you to the start
Say, "Jesus, will you come into my heart"?
Cause' I would be remiss if I continue
To go another day not knowing you!
Chorus
So, I'm running after You
And this time, I'm not looking for your attributes
Ay, I'm running after You
And I'm not just looking for attributes
Ay, I'm running after You
And I'm not just looking for attributes
I'm running after You....
....Then there's this real Dwele-ish bridge type vamp where the arrangement changes to a complete neo soul groove. Word Perfect (Elevationists rapper), more affectionately known as Taelor, is shedding his heart on this part while Canaan and I are doing the backgrounds...
You have to picture it in your mind...until I can show you.
Attributes is made of experience. Been walking with God for about 8 years strong now and have gotten to know His character, but finally getting to know Him, now. We find God's attributes all over this earth. His Love, His joy, His peace, His kindness, His mercy, His patience, just His beauty period. Yet, alot of us don't know Him. Some have never met Him. And, that hurts my heart to realize that, but it's the truth. It's so surface... It's so based on OUR understanding, which is so limited, so distracted by what we see and hear. While if we'd just seek His Kingdom first AND His righteousness- not just His Kingdom- but His righteousness too....then all the other things get added. I don't just want the gift, I want the giver. I can't live without You.
So, yea.... there it is, for the time being.
SAP- Smile And Persevere,
Christon
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